Excerpt:

Photo Fools was the best bit of the best show all week.

"If you've got a picture like this," the announcer shrieked, shuffling an upside-down boy on a horse, a man skidding through mud, a flower girl eating her flowers - "the world wants to see them!"

That's how Roland knew that everyone in Australia was watching as a dancing baby, wearing nothing but a potty on his head, flashed across the screen. Roland closed his eyes and crossed his fingers and wished. Wished for a gigantic bolt of lightning to streak out of the clear sky and zap the TV station and black out all the televisions across the country.

"You were only two," his mother said. "No one knows it's you."

"Roland Grennan!" screamed the announcer. "You've just won your parents a trip for two to Hawaii!"